Readiness
I am ready to be done with graduate school. I'm ready for the next stage of life. It's time. (LOL - in my head I hear Julia Roberts in Steel Magnolias saying to her dad, "Daddy, it's time! IT'S TIME!" when they are about to walk down the aisle for her wedding.) :-)
This is good. It is a major life transition for me and I know it would be harder if I weren't ready. Finishing without this readiness would be like being kicked out in the cold without a jacket, whereas where I am now feels like choosing to brave the cold weather, armed with lots of winter gear. I was thinking about this all week, and I realized that I've been ready for all major transitions in my life. I was ready to finish high school and go to college, I felt stifled by living at home and wanted to embrace college life. I was ready to finish college and go to graduate school, I was tired of spreading my time & energy across campus and wanted to focus on my specialty. I was ready to get married, I had had enough of living apart from Steve and wanted him to be my primary family. And now I am ready to be done with graduate school, be Dr. Lauren, and start my new job.
If you had asked me this 6 months ago, I would not have said I was ready (and not just because I was still collecting my diss data!). At the time I saw grad school friends of mine at that point, psychologically ready to be done, and I wished that I was there. There's a certain protection about graduate school, and especially about being under the wing of my advisor, Lynn. It's very much like a parental relationship, knowing that she's there if I need her but gradually becoming more independent. I guess finishing is like the "moving out" stage of the advisor-as-parent relationship. She & I will continue to work together, but I feel more confident in my ability to write, design studies, explain concepts, design studies myself, etc etc than I did 6 months ago. I am very thankful for this, because although I know I have challenges up ahead, those would be so much worse to face if I didn't feel prepared to do so.
I'm feeling much more calm about the diss. I have comments on a semi-final draft from Lynn, and I have until Wednesday to edit -- it is due to the committee on Wednesday. Then my defense is the following Wednesday Dec 12. I have been living & breathing this most of 2007, and I am so excited to get it DONE!! :-)
posted by Lauren @ 11:17 AM
4 Comments:
Yay soon to be Dr. Lauren! She's worked so hard this year that she definitely deserves it. Wish her luck!
I understand how you feel. When I was faced with the prospect of teaching undergrad eartraining for a fourth year, but earning much less money (because the extra grad school stipend goes away after 3 years), I felt like I was going to suffocate if I had to teach the same thing again with no opportunity for growth. That's why I decided to adjunct somewhere else, even though the money wasn't that great, because it was new responsibility and more control over my own destiny, instead of teaching someone else's aural skills plan. I'm eager to be done with my degree for some of the same reasons, though I'm still a little unnerved by teaching theory full-time and being Dr. Erica!
I know you'll do great at your defense and in your first teaching job this spring, because you DO kick ass, all the time. I've seen it. =)
You go Lauren. Wow. Dr Lauren. That sounds wonderful. I'll have to make sure I use that when I see you.
Take a deep breath and go knock them dead.
Barb
I'm glad you're feeling mentally ready. I'm sure it'll come through in your diss and your defense and give you an extra ounce of "oomph!" to kick ass with! It's so exciting that you're almost Dr. Lauren. I wish I had the drive to make it that far!
I'm really ready to get my LPC stuff finished too.. now that I've finally started really studying and understanding the process, I feel ready to knock it out and be able to really do counseling and help people. It helps too that I'm in a more supportive environment.
So, go in there and totally WOW 'em, then get your Dr. Lauren behind down to NC to celebrate!!!!
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